Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Are you sick of it yet? If not, just keep voting Democrat.

I voted Democrat because I'm way too peace-loving to own a gun. I know that if we all disarm and work for justice then oppressed peoples won't be pushed into crime and my local cops can focus on community organizing, bake sales and parades.

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my dog.

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they are doing because they now think we are good people.

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will snow on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius and pay carbon use taxes.

I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the murder of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits that they've never had to pay into.

I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
.
.

No comments: