Ambiguities, Idiosyncrasies and Thing to Ponder.

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why are do we still have monkeys and apes?

4. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live!

5. If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

6. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

7. Is this true? One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor?

8. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

9. It a turtle has no shell, is he homeless or naked?

10. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

11. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

12. Why is there Braille on drive through bank machines?

13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

14. Does the Little Mermaid wear an Algebra?

15. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

16. If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

17. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

18. How come there's an expiration date on sour cream?

19. What a cruel thing it was to do putting an "s" in the word "lisp".

20. Can an atheist make an insurance claim against "Acts of God"?
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'Political Correctness' Contest

The following is the winning entry in an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term:

This year's term was 'Political Correctness'.

The winner wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end"

R. J. Wiedemann Lt Col. USMC Ret.
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Living vs. Hibernating

I read this somewhere a while ago. I wish I could attribute it to someone, but my search came up with nothing.

I guess I saved it for days like these when I feel this way.

"You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book... or you take a trip... and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure.

That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children.

And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song and it awakens them and saves them from death.

Some never awaken."
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Huh? Obama is allowing the ChiComm's to raise their flag at the White House?

I don't know if I'm reading this correctly. If not maybe one of you can set me straight.
What I've read states that the national flag of the People's Republic of China (PRC) will be hoisted at the South Lawn of the White House in Washington on September 20, 2009.

WTF? Is this the kind of change that our citizens voted for?

It seems that Chinese associations in the United States had applied to hold a ceremony in front of the US President’s residence to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the founding of PRC. Hold on now, I think I'm hallucinating. The White House is celebrating 60 years of ChiComm dictatorship? The purging from their society of all free thinkers in the name of revolution?

The ChiComm's are leading us to believe that their application was approved not only because of the sound Sino-US relations but also because China is a responsible country. Responsible?
Don't make me laugh.

Is this because the Chinese now owns most of our country? They have been buying our debt now for years while we buy their goods in the factories that we had shipped overseas because our unions (who support Obama) increased wages so high that companies went elsewhere.

I for one, am going to write all of my so-called "representatives" in government and say in no uncertain terms that this should not be allowed to happen. Let the Chinese go to Cuba and celebrate with their dear comrades there.

Just don't do it in front of America's house. Never.
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